A Quick Discussion

Alright here's a thing that I think worth the discuss:

Do you prefer to work for passion or for money?

Because you see... My dream job has always be to involve in a job that requires my expertise to beautify a thing/service/whatever it is. I like things to be beautiful and contemporary, disregard on how it will affect the sale of that particular 'thing', because I believe, when a thing is not sellable but it's in its perfect packaging, at least the outcome you'll get is branding. Conclusion is, I just hate doing sales, very complicated, full of figures, definately not my thing.

So how? You rather be broke all the time but work happily or hate your work but earning good money?

Share your thoughts, please, if there're still readers here :)

I FARKING HATE PONDAN

Especially those who shows disrespect to people. I mean, if you're pondan, but you act nice, friendly... At least you're a nice pondan, and it's still acceptable. If you're a pondan, but you behave like shit, it makes you a shit pondan, and it's twice up, double sucked!

Okay, please forgive me for being..... eeer... sexualist? Anyways, recently I got yelled by a pondan just because I ask her something, and he/she answer me so unprofessionally in an aggresive tone. Come on la, if wanna be aggresive, be a respectful aggresive pondan with rasional, profressional, correct substance attitude and behavior.

Fuh, I'm letting it all outtt..... Wuuuuuusaaaaaaaaaa~

I Eat 2 Ice Creams Per Day

HAHA! I can't believe my brother and Joanne do check my blog quite frequently, I guess? What's up with the monthly updates in the right comment column? HAHAHAHAHA!

Anyways, just a quick update here. I'm not officially a graduate yet, as I still have one subject's result yet to be revealed.

Past 2 months, I've been doing my internship in an event and artist management company. Quite an experience again I would say. The biggest deal was meeting Wang Leehom in person, hehe. Anyways, that was my second time internship and again, I've learned a lot. New things. Previously was doing intern in a magazine company, I kinda miss working in that kinda field too. Ex-colleagues were great, I miss all of 'em. But I have to move on, try involving myself in a new field again so, now I ended up working in an ice cream company, positioned in the marketing department. Yea, I'm SELLING ICE CREAMS now! HAHA!

The thing is, I'm crazy about ice creams. I love ice creams. As much as I love cheese. When I first finished my internship, I was desperate for money. Yes, I'm admitting it. I want to be independent and money is so freaking damn important to celebrate independency, as in spending each and every cent in our daily lives with our own penny. Since I was given the opportunity to work in an ice cream company, I was curious about what kind of notions that would develop in the future with such passion, adding with some pressure to achieve profit from sharing the passion.

Okay, this should be just quick update. So I'm stopping now. Lastly, I just want to add one last phrase: I AM OFFICIALLY OLD.

Short Hair is the New Handsome!

Hi all.

After realizing how gloomy my previous posts were, I decided to discuss something more... 'cheerful' here.

Altigh, I've been having this perception about guys ever since I was born. I think no matter how good looking a guy is, he should just stick with short-clean-cut hair. Seriously. They always look the best that way. So, to prove my saying, here are some examples.... ;)

Vanness Wu- One of the part F4 boy band
GAY!


Hate the front, but it's shorter and it looks better!





Werewolf Jacob. Feel like pulling off his hair!


Clean and neat! Looking good and 'mature'.



Ah Beng Donnie Yen.



He's so handsome in short hair, but why the heck he wear that underwear?!


Brad Pitt in his early years.


Better looking although he's older here!




Nicholas Tse- Ah Beng rocker.



Not very short yet, but better looking.



James in Twilight.

Who could've thought that this villain look this HANDSOME??!!


Lastly, David Beckham.
Hey, he got a handsome face right? This hair was just not right!

*melts!*

Haaaalloo~~~ So everyone agree with me? Short hair is the new handsome! I challenge myself to look for one celebrity that has the not-so-handsome look and see if the hair plays a vital role in his appearance or not.

Found one!!

Taiwan fella. Don't know the english name.

Tell me I'm right!! XD

p/s to guys out there: CUT YOUR HAIR SHORT!!!

Hi all.

Hey, sorry for not updating on the check-up. It's really frustrating and I almost don't wanna talk about it.

Anyways, the doctor said to me one phrase that I hardly get it out of my mind:

'Unfortunately, the previous diagnosis' were all mistakes.'

See what I mean? Not even a sorry for me. I was ready for an end on this thing on my leg, but now it's the totally opposite case! It's not Varicose Veins anymore, there's a new term, wait let me get my report.....

Arteriovenous malformation.

Okay, from the wikipedia:

Arteriovenous malformation or AVM is an abnormal connection between veins and arteries, usually congenital. This pathology is widely known because of its occurrence in the central nervous system, but can appear in any location.


Oh my god.... Check out the symptoms!!!

• Difficulties with movement or coordination, including muscle weakness and even paralysis;
• vertigo (dizziness);
• Difficulties of speech (dysarthria) and communication, such as alogia;
• Difficulties with everyday activities, such as apraxia;
• Abnormal sensations (numbness, tingling, or spontaneous pain);
• Memory and thought-related problems, such as confusion, dementia or hallucinations.

Some scary stuff there. After my parents and I spent thousands on the check-ups, scanning, operations bla bla bla.... Now that the NEW diagnose revealed itself and I have to go through everything again. Damn, life's suck isn't it? :/

Very Close Veins

Actually it's Varicose Veins.

FYI to y'all, I always hard time finding the right position to sleep every night. I used to be an athlete but failed to excel in it and my performance go worse as I grew older. My sitting posture is a bad sight as I always sit like a guy. I always had hard time to walk, stand, whatever that is related to using my leg. Varicose Veins is the reason to all of this.

Many might ask what is this. Okay from wikipedia:

Varicose veins are veins that have become enlarged and tortuous. Veins have leaflet valves to prevent blood from flowing backwards (retrograde). Leg muscles pump the veins to return blood to the heart, against the effects of gravity. When veins become varicose, the leaflets of the valves no longer meet properly, and the valves do not work. This allows blood to flow backwards and they enlarge even more.

That's why sometimes you might notice my left leg looks swollen or slightly bigger than the right one. Yea, it's kinda cacat-ed. I remember few years ago I had my surgery on the leg and I blogged about it in Friendster.

I re-wrote this story and submitted as my assignment last semester, well I figured, since I'm going for a check-up and probably an injection on my leg for further recovery, I'm going to post my story again in this blog. Pardon the lack of bombastic language in the story.

No Pain, No Gain

‘If the laser tube can’t get in, I’m going to have to cut your leg, I’m warning you.’ The doctor told me before I left his office. I could not respond to the statement by Dr. Murli as I was really stoned by the word ‘cut’. I dragged myself to the wad room and sat on the bed thinking: no matter how pain it will be, I must endure it because at the end, I will have my normal left leg back.

I looked on the incoherent round marks drew by blue marker pen on my left leg, ‘One, two, three, four, five, six……….eight…… ten…. twelve.’ 12 circles were marked on my leg by the doctor. I have never known that I actually have approximately 12 swollen parts on my left leg, I never count them before.

I changed into the patient’s dress and I must say, it was very uncomfortable to have that on. Because I am only allow to wear nothing else but the patient’s dress and sarung, no bra, no panties, no underwear at all. Or I should say, I’m felt insecure when wearing that dress? I am afraid I will be embarrassed that I will accidentally pull and untie the knot of the dress on my back or my sarung gets lose and falls down.

‘Mmmmuuuuaaahahahahaha!’ I heard an evil laughter when it was almost time to get in the operating theater. It was like the moment of death when the reaper was approaching me. It turned out that it was actually from a man in his thirties, maximum dark brown skin, having Phua Chu Kang’s curly hair, wearing white uniform and approached me with a wheel chair and a tooth-pastes ad’s smile on his face. He helped me to sit on the wheel chair. ‘Great entrance,’ I thought to myself.

My parents waved to me and wish me luck:’ We will be right here waiting for you.’ I smiled and waved to them as well. I had butterflies in my stomach as the male nurse escorted me to the operating theater. The male nurse spotted my worried face, and he started to talk to me. We had a nice talk, ended up talking about how my parents got married.

Along the journey to the operating theater, there were many people around and they were all stared at me when I passed them by. ‘Oh my God, this girl broke her leg!’ ‘What were the markers on her leg about?’ ‘Poor girl, she’s so young and she’s on the wheel chair?’ These were some of the thoughts that I heard while reading their expression when they looked at me. How much I wish I could walk myself to the destination without having someone to push me using the wheel chair.

And finally, I reached the surgery department where all the operating theaters were. The male nurse asked if I could walk inside myself, I said: ‘I’d love to!’ and hopped up from the wheel chair immediately. We were walking at this hallway where the whole atmosphere was exactly like the Thailand horror movie: it was dark, clean, wide, quiet, cold and what I can hear was the foot-steps of the both of us. It was like the next thing I might experience is a lady ghost in white dress crawls out from the ceiling.

And then, I entered the operating theater and I can hear my heart beat clearly when I saw the operating table. I climbed on the table, trying to position myself in the most comfortable way I can get but failed, because the steel table was icy cold and hard. I felt better and was in my comfort zone then when someone came to me and put two pillows under my head and covered me with three layers of blankets because it was really freezing cold in the room.

As I was lying there, I observed around and it was too dark for me to see the surrounding. But the nurses were very busy walking around me, preparing for the surgery. I was looking at one of the nurse with green mask and green cap on, unsure of his or her gender, arranging the surgical instruments on a table near to me. I am neither a doctor nor a nurse, so I definitely have no idea at all what were the names for these knives and scissors looking things, but I am certain that these things were sharp and they will definitely cause a lot of pain! More butterflies in my stomach now.

I chose to be in local anesthesia for two reasons: firstly, it was the doctor’s recommendation as the operation only happens on my leg and I should be able to bear with the pain as my leg will be numbed; secondly, it was so much cheaper if compared to general anesthesia that I am able to save up a few thousand ringgit. Hence, I am wide awake to feel and to hear the whole surgical process that is happening to me. My view was blocked by a piece of wood where they placed under my neck. That was at least one good news because I would not want to watch someone cut open my leg with a knife and see my own blood.

I could feel they poked on my left leg with needles for several of times and waited for a few minutes. My leg felt numb gradually. And then I started to hear a familiar song being played in the room. I peeped on my right and saw a radio. ‘I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your fantasy, I’ll he your hope, I’ll be your lovely everything that you need…’ the lyric and melody was so familiar and I finally recalled, it was a song by Savage Garden, titled ‘Truly Deeply Madly’. That was the second good news so far as music is always my great medicine when I am feeling sad or down; and a celebration when I am happy. Hence, it is definitely a great company for me during this operation. More songs from Savage Garden were played after that.

‘Dr Murli, it’s ready,’ one of the nurses called out when Dr Murli entered the room. And then, I felt an extreme sharp pain on my leg, I was positive that he was cutting open my leg now. It was followed by something being forced to enter into my leg. The pressure that was put on my leg when the nurses and doctor push my leg to attain the right position caused slight pain and I felt very uncomfortable.

“No, cannot, the tube can’t even get in there,” said Dr Murli. That was definitely a bad news for me, especially after underwent so much pain. Dr Murli, in his green mask and green cap on, approached me:” The laser tube doesn’t get in, I have to cut open your leg, you might experience slight pain, okay?” I nodded and answer him softly:’ Okay.’

I do not think that I have a choice to decline or stop the operation at that moment. What I thought to myself was I want to end this quick, no matter how much pain I must go through because I wanted to experience the outcome of it.

As I mentioned earlier, the cut caused maximum pain and it was almost impossible to endure it when it comes to a total of 12 cuts to be made on the leg. Tears were rolling in my eyes when the first few cuts were being made. The nurses noticed the situation I am in, thus, she reported it to the doctor. The doctor asked me:” Are you sure you want to continue or you want to do this next time?” “Please proceed,” I told him.

After the fifth cut, my tears kept dropping off my cheeks and my fists were tight. On the eighth cut, I burst into tears and I bite tight on the blanket. The nurse came up to me and asked my condition, I told her frankly that cuts were aching, and she reported it to the doctor. “More anesthetic for her,” said the doctor. And then he came to my right side:”Ong, if you can’t stand the pain, I have to stop the operation, but I only have a few more cuts to do,” he said. “I’m sorry, please continue,” I said, as I lifted my hand to wipe my tears away.

I still have tears dropping off my cheeks, still biting on the blankets and my hands gripped hard on the blankets but I tried not to make any sound as I am worried that the doctor will have to stop his operation again due to my weakness. I was thinking to myself that no way I am going to give up now because the process was already more than 50%. “Ong, relax okay? Just relax,” one of the male nurses said to me. “Sheng Jean, bu yao pa, guai, bu yao ku,” a female nurse said to me not long after that which means “don’t be afraid, hush, don’t cry,” in Mandarin. And then another female nurse came to my left ear and whispered:” Girl, jangan takut ya? Tahan la,” which literally means ‘don’t be afraid, just bear with it,’ in Bahasa Malaysia, with her hand patting on my shoulder. It was great to hear so much encouragement and they did comfort me, especially when it comes in three different languages!

About 20 minutes later, the doctor came to face me again:” It’s done, but I’m only getting some of your cell samples for research, it’s not cured yet, the nurse will stitch your leg. We will talk about this tomorrow morning with your parents around,’ and then he left. The nurses patted on my shoulder again and told me “Good job,” before I was moved to another bed and sent back to my room. I had a total of 13 cuts and a lot of stitches on my left leg.

I was shocked to acknowledge that with the level of pain that I went through and I was very much anticipating on the outcome, but it turned out that I had gain nothing. Nothing was change on my left leg, it was still swollen. I am still having Vericose Veins on my left leg. Although I am surprised, I am not sad at all. I felt a slight disappointment but I am proud of myself. I have learnt to face challenges bravely. It there is a second time of me undergoing the same process again, I am definitely still in because I know there is a chance of me getting my leg fix. Even my families and my friends, they were proud of me for able to go through such painful experience, not giving up and stayed strong until it ended. As what people always said, ‘no pain no gain’, I do not gain anything physically, but mentally, I am trained to become a better person by being brave, though and stronger than before.

-The End-


Hope you guys enjoy my story and feel inspired? HAHA! Alright these are the photos that I retrieved from my old blog.

The patient tag.

My leg after the surgery.

Wish me luck next Wednesday. My first check-up after 4 years. :)

P/S: Congrates to myself! The longest post so far. XD

Mom's Gonna Break the Record

My mom loves to call me. My sister too. My brothers too. She loves to talk to us. The record I had so far was..... 4 times in a day, she called for chit chat session, nothing important in particular. I guess she misses me a lot.....

The latest thing that she learned was our calls to each other is actually FOC. She is so happy about this... Means, she's able to attempt for record breaking on maximum calls per day!


Guess I'm gonna get more calls from me mom these days...... *gulp!* XD

F-Up Hospital

Just wanna share a bad experience I had last week at this semi-govern hospital: UMMC (University Malaysia Medical Centre).


Last Sunday I was suppose to work part-time somewhere at KL but was forced to take an unpaid leave because the bloody shop was not open, thus I wasn't able to do my job as promoter. I traveled to two different shops and they were all closed. Stupid ass. I meant the management, wasted my car petrol. But thank God it was all sorted out already as they promised to pay me as usual. Yay!

So! Anyways, so I headed back home after that. It was like 2 or 3 in the afternoon. I reached home and found out, how come my brother and sister were not at home? And things were a bit messy here and there at the kitchen and living room as I saw a bowl of food eaten halfway, gingers cut halfway, knife was unclean, a glass of boiled ginger on the table...... All I thought was: What the hell? Did I miss something?

Moments later, my sister and brother were back and my bro did not look good at all! He's just back from the clinic and he took the medicines but he still breath hard and the whole body was not right! After awhile, my brother's body cramped, his hands twisted and harden like rocks and I was bloody hell worried! (He joked about this later that evening that he felt like he's Emily Rose from the Exorcist.)

Me and my sister fleeeeew him to the hospital right away, UMMC is the only hospital we thought of.

First thing we did, went to the registration counter and asked to be register as a patient demand for doctor consultancy in polyclinic. The f-ing fella said to us: 'Polyclinic.... hari ini tutup la.' Full stop. FULL STOOOOP! Okay, then my sister said: ' Tapi adik saya sakit....' 'Tutup la Polyclinic, tak buka hari ni.' BLOODY HELL FULL STOP AGAIN! Why the heck is this fella working in a hospital? And the two ladies sitting beside him working for other counter as well, ignored us totally!

Thank God, beside the counter was the Emergency department. I did saw the paramedics rushed a guy whose looking so much in pain into the emergency room immediately they took him out of the ambulance. Like a scene from ER and Grey's Anatomy, no kidding. Then we saw a doc and she's looking less busy and my sister was like: 'Our case here... consider emergency la ho?!' I nodded, super agree, I'm worried that my bro's hand will twist and harden again and who knows what will happen if it turns out worse? We asked her and she kindly and patiently listened to us and explained the possible conditions. We were then calmed by the female doc and proceed to register again with that previous shit fella and was then able to seek for doctor's check up on my bro.

The thing is..... why don't he just register us in the first place whether it's polyclinic or not? Or even suggest us? Perhaps tell us what we can do? It's a person's life that we were dealing with and he took his job for granted. Really stupid guy.

FONG MAU~~~

One Sunday, I read a news of several cases that happen in Korea, regarding online game. I really wonder why people able to be that foolish and what the hell their mind is thinking of.

1) A guy spends more than 50 hours continuously in front of his computer playing online game and end up dying of dehydration.

2) A couple spends more than 12 hours at the cyber café in order to ‘raise’ their little bloody angel fantasy girl that they bought online, neglecting their OWN 4 months HUMAN baby girl at home, end up the poor baby girl die of dehydration and nutrition.

3) This one really makes me laugh! A guy bought a creature (or should I say—character) online, and trained it for a few months in order to build up its capability and strength to fight with the others. But he discovered that there is another character that has higher level of capability and might threaten him. So guess what? He searched for the master’s address, turn up and murder him. What the hell…?!?!

The only word that I describe the above, fong mau~~~ not saying that the reporter is talking nonsense, but what those people is acting really…fong mau~

-jo- 04/03/2010

My skies are dark.

I very sui la. Seriously. Especially financially. But luck was really really bad as well. Firstly, my car service, from RM52 to RM400++, multiply by don't know how many times, see the previous post la, I knew it was A LOT like hell. And then it was few days ago, again car service, from RM200++ to RM400++, again multiply by 2. Ah remember my guitar broke and I'm kinda non-instrument now? If I wanna get one, cheapest maybe RM600+. So it's like now I'm at the negative level of my personal finance state.

Few days ago, I suffered extreme toothache that my tears flowed down my face automatically. Drugs do me good, they help me ease the pain and I might be addicted to it now. I went to the first clinic I spotted near my college. I had hard times looking for the stairs to get to the second floor cuz it seemed like it was suppose to be there. I looked like a fool asking people around and wander here and there for a few minutes! People kept telling me there was no clinic there but I was certained that I saw the board of the clinic! Finally a lady after that told me the clinic actually had closed already. In other word: bankrupt dah. Maaaaaaa le. And then I found another one nearby (thank God), and while I'm waiting for the dentist to squeeze me in as an emergency case for 15/20 minutes in the clinic, all of a sudden 'poooohhhfffff!', black out! Electricity down. I'm suppose to have discussion with my classmates so I asked for the next day's appointment and left.

Today, I saw a small dim of light in my life cuz it's the day I'm meeting the dentist. Maaaaaaaaa le. Light my ass ah. The dentist told me I have to do a surgical removal for the stupid tooth. Long story on this one but.. yea, it cost about four or five hundred. My whole world was almost crashing down la!!! I see no light in my life!

My financial state: super duper NE-GA-TIV-EEEEEE
My mood state: Awfully blue
My mouth state: Taste exactly like the clinic, smell of the medicine!
My level of consciousness: Low, cuz I kinda not believing that this is happening to me.
My emotional state: damn JIWANG
My level/area of pain: Maximum, on the tooth and gum and my heart.
My state of mind: Blank, still not believing all these crap.


Oh someone told me that toothache is the second most pain experience that a human can sense. First is giving birth to a baby. Wow. So when can I have my mercy? :(